One of the few people able to fully understand Einstein’s theory of relativity has admitted that he is as confused as anybody else by the abstract concept of David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’.
It is estimated that just ten people on the planet have the intelligence and education to fathom Einstein’s famous theory but it is now becoming apparent that the number of people that have any understanding of the Prime Minister’s big idea is even lower, perhaps even less than one.
Professor Stephen Hawking has confessed today that he is just another average schmuck when it comes to the comprehension of Cameron’s quantum politics.
"I can tell you about the origin of the entire universe from its very beginning with the Big Bang," a visibly frustrated Hawking admitted, “but this Big Society idea just goes way over my head. It makes me feel like a complete fuckwit!"
"I mean, I can easily understand the theory that time is not absolute because of its dependence upon velocity - meaning that contraction becomes a fundamental consequence at appropriate speeds, which of course, leads to the curvature of spacetime. That’s easy."
"It’s this complex theory of this shrinking society that is supposedly getting bigger that makes me feel so intellectually inadequate."
The academic celebrity believes that there are reasons for his embarrassing ineptitude.
"My mind may be a little restricted," the Professor continued, "by my fucking stupid insistence upon working with the realms of science, mathematics and fact."
"I know that Mr Cameron is a politician and has no need or notion of any such trivialities. But that’s probably the reason I’m not able to tell you what a single word of what he ever says actually means."
"In fact, as a scientist," Hawking added, "I would have an easier time telling you about God."