Tuesday, February 15, 2011

King David Cameron the Arrogant Confounds Professor Stephen Hawking


One of the few people able to fully understand Einstein’s theory of relativity has admitted that he is as confused as anybody else by the abstract concept of David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’.
It is estimated that just ten people on the planet have the intelligence and education to fathom Einstein’s famous theory but it is now becoming apparent that the number of people that have any understanding of the Prime Minister’s big idea is even lower, perhaps even less than one.

Professor Stephen Hawking has confessed today that he is just another average schmuck when it comes to the comprehension of Cameron’s quantum politics.

"I can tell you about the origin of the entire universe from its very beginning with the Big Bang," a visibly frustrated Hawking admitted, “but this Big Society idea just goes way over my head. It makes me feel like a complete fuckwit!"

"I mean, I can easily understand the theory that time is not absolute because of its dependence upon velocity - meaning that contraction becomes a fundamental consequence at appropriate speeds, which of course, leads to the curvature of spacetime. That’s easy."

"It’s this complex theory of this shrinking society that is supposedly getting bigger that makes me feel so intellectually inadequate."

The academic celebrity believes that there are reasons for his embarrassing ineptitude.

"My mind may be a little restricted," the Professor continued, "by my fucking stupid insistence upon working with the realms of science, mathematics and fact."

"I know that Mr Cameron is a politician and has no need or notion of any such trivialities. But that’s probably the reason I’m not able to tell you what a single word of what he ever says actually means."

"In fact, as a scientist," Hawking added, "I would have an easier time telling you about God."


Nicky said...

LOL. Good old Spank the News. It would be interesting to know what Stephen Hawking does think about the Big Society, especially regarding local authority cutbacks re provision for the disabled.

I read a comment over on the Guardian regarding Cameron and his performance on the News last night regarding his BS (very appropriate initials). This person was saying that at the age of 64, after following current affairs most of his life, it was the first time he'd had such serious doubts about a British PM's mental health.

The more I see of Cameron the more I think he's got a personality disorder. He's plainly unfit for the office he holds.

Gracie Samuels said...

I couldn't resist putting it up here Nicky it made me laugh.

Nicky said...

Hey! You got your email read on the Politics Show! Thought it must be you because of the King Cameron of Arrogant bit!

Cameron v poor again. Wish Ed would go for the jugular a bit more, though.